TRUE HORROR

Can you tell if your guy is a rapist?

He can be a neighbor, a religious man, or your cyberspace friend...

By MA. AURORA L. SICAT 

AFTER nearly two decades of missing since she was 11 years old, Jaycee Lee Dugard of South Lake Tahoe, California, suddenly resurfaced 18 years later and recounted to the police the horrifying details on how convicted rapist Phillip Garrido kept her in captivity in his backyard and forced her to bear two of his children.

Garrido’s neighbors, who describe him as nice and friendly, however, contradicted this hideous image. Moreover, people who knew Garrido said he became increasingly fanatic about his religious beliefs in recent years, sometimes breaking out into song and claiming that God spoke to him through a box. 

This report sheds light on telltale signs to look out for that someone might be an outlaw. Can you really tell if a man is a rapist the first time you see him? Would you suspect someone who speaks about God and religion like Phillip Garrido—dressed in ordinary clothes, a friendly neighbor—to be a serial rapist?  LADIES, if you do not wish Jaycee Lee Dugard’s fate to happen to you, MOD gives advice on how not to be a rape victim: 

• The rule of the thumb: don’t talk to strangers, or at least don’t get too familiar with people whom you do not know. But then again, you never really suspect a friend whom you’ve known for many years to be a rape suspect. In that case, keep yourself in public view. It’s always safer to be careful when meeting people at public places.

• Be wary of rapists lurking and preying in cyberspace. Aren’t you at all surprised when a man suddenly declares that he’s in love with you without even meeting you in person, sometimes even promising to book a flight to your country just to marry you? Or when people online suddenly invite you to view their pornographic links or view their webcams to watch how they masturbate? Is it really flattering that they find you sexy or are you flattering yourself? You might think there’s no difference between sex and love, but for these people, love is out of the question.

 Yes, there are people who were lucky to find love online, but don’t put all your hopes that ‘this is it.’ For all you know, marriage may be a man’s way to get closer to you, to earn his trust. When you’ve finally given him your trust, rape may no longer be an issue even if you think there are times when he forces you to have sex with him.  

 Like we said, you can never tell if a man is a rapist the first time you see him. If friends were likely to be rape suspects, what more with complete strangers? Given this premise, will you take the risk of chatting online to look for ‘the one’?   

 Where are the best places to look for marriage? To minimize the risks of getting raped, meet your prospect and get to know him well. Spend time with him, meet his family, and do a background check. Don’t give him the benefit of the doubt. Treat him as an applicant vying for an executive position in your multinational company whose credentials have to be verified and whose performance has to be assessed before giving him a handsome salary. Make yourself worth the chase. 

• If you’re kidnapped and the man is unarmed, scream at the top of your voice to call the attention of passersby. That way, they can either help you or inform police officers.

 It’s always best to have a presence of mind in case of emergency. Good old pepper spray may come in handy. Brush up on self-defense or better yet, take martial arts classes like aikido or tae kwon do. It’s a good investment especially if you work late at nights. 

 When abducted, try not to panic and take note of the rapist’s facial features and try to get his name so that when you’re given the chance to escape, you can report the incident to the authorities. Another thing, don’t go out by yourself during the late hours of the evening when everyone’s almost fast asleep. This is usually the perfect time to commence rape. You can scream all you want and nobody would be able to hear you.